Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

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Maturity is a virtue.

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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Why did the redneck ask his daughter to get on her knees? His shoe was untied.

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Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

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Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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