What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Type 2 diabetics

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I can't see my forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops