Q: what is long hard and full of seamen A: a submarine

What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

I would rape her

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

A jewish lady is cleaning a house to make some extra money. Its great that she can still find work in this economy.

I had my period 3 days ago.

U ALL LIAK DIK

What's the shittiest thing ever ? Poop.

1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...