- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

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Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

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Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

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a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Women's rights.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

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What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One No One Who? ...

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Did you hear about the man who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He's dead.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

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I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

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kiss me?

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Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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