how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

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Wanna here a good joke? Sure, but you spelled hear wrong.

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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if u like this i wont pay you a dollar

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Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

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Who has fair skin, blonde hair and is African? Stefan.

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? "THE chicken" indicates a definite article, you really would have to specify which chicken you're talking about so i can identify whether i was there at the given moment that the chicken tried to cross the road and to ask it his reason for attempting it.

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

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whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A black man is a human, with feelings, living cells and a loving and devoted family, while a park bench is made from wood and metal and used purely for people to sit on. In parks.

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Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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what is sticky and brown?a stick

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A man walks into a bar... who cares what happens after that Charlie Sheen is winning and Osama Bin Laden is dead

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How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

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Today is my birthday.... Goodbye cruel world

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops