Soccer...

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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ow

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

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I'm a boy... I like hamburgers... Xbox is my favorite activity.... I have a dog... My dad is cheap... He's my doctor, my dentist, and my mom... Haha get it?

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

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Q. what did the white man say to the black man? A. hello

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? a pilot you racist

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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its was amazinglysmooth fuck off

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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A black man, a white man, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The bartender kicks them out because he doesn't have time for another crappy joke; as the bar is very crowded that night.

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops