Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Why did sally fall off the swing? she had no arms of legs. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally.

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

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How many beavers can you fit in one paddling pool? None; it's probably very dangerous trying

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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Flying aboriginal on a magic carpet

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why did the moose cross the road? to eat the baby.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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