Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a friend chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Billy: hey dave, wanna hear a joke? Dave: what? Billy: oh yeah, you are deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A little boy and a pedafile are walking through the forest at night. The little boy says "I'm scared." The pedafile says "You're scared? I have to walk home alone."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Nippies

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock!! Who's There? No one, your being ding dong ditched!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black guy walks down the street. He sees a lamp, picks it up and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he has 3 wishes. The black says he wants to be thin, white, and get alot of pussy. The genie says, congadulations your a condom!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A baby seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you find will smith in the snow? with rescue dogs

thumb_up thumb_down -11

im not as random as you think I- Potato

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why is red the first color in the rainbow? I don't know go ask a scientist.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

black guy graduating high school

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why aren't 4 black people driving a red mustang? They can't afford it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops