why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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why did the chicken cross the road? the holocaust

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Plenty of things

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Women's rights

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A Mexican and a Black man are in a car. Who's driving? The police officer.

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What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

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Q:What did grandma get for christmas? A:a coffen

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Nothing.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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What is the difference between baldness and boldness? The second letter.

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops