Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

hihihihihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihjhihhhihhihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihiihihiihihihihihihihihihihiihihihihiihihihi

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Neither does he.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea. That would depend on what time you are reading this. As i have no control over this, I am unable to inform you of China's current time. Perhaps you should look into a watch, world clock, or some other device capable of telling the time. That is not the Purpose of this website. However, there are numerous other places for this. God luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can, and only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

penus

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops