An English man walks into a pub.

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

A black man, an arabic man, and a hispanic man are all in a car, who is driving? The black man.

What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

What was the pirate's favorite letter W

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

What did the boy do when he got an F on his English paper? -Laughed.

why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

wtf the enter the following thingie says I am here

Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

What's worse than having amnesia? I don't remember.

There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

A man walks into a bar. ouch.

Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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