Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, you racist.

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What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

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whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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what do u call a black person by his name

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Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Billy. Billy who? Billy your next door neighbor, I need to borrow some sugar. Ok, come in.

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So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

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yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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Why did the Mexican drive off a cliff Because he lost control of his vehicle which resulted in an unplanned trajectory causing his car to divert from the intended course and thus veer off the road onto the cliff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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