Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

stevie wonder watched a movie yesterday

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do u get a baby to stop choking? Take ur c*ck out if its mouth!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the diffrence between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hey my names cliff. You should drop by sometime

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops