What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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A young gay man comes out of the closet to his conservative, Christian parents. Everything went better than expected.

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Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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Why did the teacher yell at her students? The class was acting completely inappropriate and she felt it was necessary to discipline them so the current situation won’t repeat its self.

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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Whats hotter than the sun? Larger stars.

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

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Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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