what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Hit by a bus Why did the bus driver drop his coffee? He hit the boy

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

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A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

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Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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Shit!

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

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soccor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a bus.

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

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A Brunette a ginger and a blonde were getting their hair done? WHich side of the bus did they sit on? Why did i put a question mark on the first part?

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust. A: Me not getting my Christmas presents.

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what happen to covietz when he licked his balls? nothing he likes the taste

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What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops