why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Wanna know something funny? Your face

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Mexican drive off a cliff Because he lost control of his vehicle which resulted in an unplanned trajectory causing his car to divert from the intended course and thus veer off the road onto the cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops