Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

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What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

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69

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Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear large clothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road... He wanted to get away from all those jerks who kept asking him why he made the decisions that he did. he later committed suicide...

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

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So a man enters a local paper's pun contest. He enters ten puns in hopes that one of them would win. But unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

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What's worse than eating cows. Death

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Ya know what's sad? You can only submit one dislike on this website.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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Nicolas Cage

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

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A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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