What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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