Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Women's rights.

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what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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Pinus Testicles

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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