What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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That's not what she said.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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Why did the man feel so guilty after having sex...... He found out He was a tranny

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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Knock Knock I don't have a door. I'm Homeless

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

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Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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Women's rights.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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