whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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Yes.

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

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What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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womens rights

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im not as random as you think I- Potato

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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why was 6 afraid of 7?

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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Why did the black man begin to cry when his friend aimed a gun at a watermelon? Because if he were to shoot it would be a waste of perfectly good food.

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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