Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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Once upon a cross

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

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Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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