Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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There are three types of people in this world: The stupid. And the ones that can't count.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

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This sentence is false.

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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