What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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Do you like fishsticks No

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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What happened to boy who fell down the stairs? He died. What happened to the girl who fell down the same stairs? The boy who fell down the stairs hit her down the stairs too and they both died What happened to the man fell down these very same stairs? He got peer pressure and committed suicide.

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

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Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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