When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How many dead babies can you fit in a sink? I don't know i forgot to turn the garbage disposal off

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Hello! Echo! My name is Ed!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Ok, for Christ’s sake, these sh!tty “animals falling out of a tree” jokes are NOT funny; they were never funny and they’re certainly not getting any funnier with you rehashing them every 5 posts. Fncking stop it.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

We have a 24hr fitness center...it is open from 6 to 11

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A priest, an iman, a rabbi, a bishop and a Dalai Lama walk into a bar. Because they were of different faiths, racial slurs were thrown back and forth until they all left. They spent the rest of the night and most of the following day unhappy.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Gary Busey walk into a bar. Everyone Ran out noticing the potential danger.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why does jim never go to McDonalds? his wife got shot there.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops