What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Death is inevitable.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

thumb_up thumb_down +1

no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's round and red? A red and round solid.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops