What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

What did your last slave die of? Terminal Cancer

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Your mom is fat

How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

Anthony Dephillips is handsome

Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

A buissnes man walks into a meeting and says hello i'm a buissnesman

if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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