Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

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roses are red violets are blue im in class

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What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

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your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

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What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

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What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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Q:whats comes back to life and says RAR A;jesus

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What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

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What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? No one OK???? BYE, BYE U still there? Yeah Umm . . . ?

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What's the most racist thing ever... Manhattan

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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Q-What do you call kids who go to school? A- Students.

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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IU football

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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