What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Type 2 diabetics

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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