Roses are red. Violets are blue. These are facts. Good day.

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Whats the best part about 23 year olds? Theres 20 of them

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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That's why her hair is so big, she teases it and uses a lot of expensive products.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

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A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

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A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. That was just the first person.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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why did the bus crash the driver was an alcoholic and was drunk he killed 8 people upon impact.

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Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

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Colby is gay.... thats it

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Unnnnnnnn

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love is a homeless guy searchin' for treasure in the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and even though he's heartbroken he can't complain cuz he was hungry in the first place.

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what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops