Your mom is fat

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

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Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

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What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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