A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

s e m e n

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two gays walk into a bar, they are then kicked out by the homophobic owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw food on the other side the the farmer was going to chop his head off.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

25

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the man start living on the street? he lost his job, his wife left him, and had his identity stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you scare a bonde? tell her you want to be her uterus?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? There was a huge pile of dead babies blocking his path.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Soooo... a black man walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops