Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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Get in the car.

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What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo with a sheep? A: That would be impossible for it is impossible to breed a kangaroo and a sheep due to their difference in genetic material and number of chromosomes

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Why did bobby fall of the swing? He had no arms -Knock knock -Who's there? -Bobby -But how? -I knocked with my diick -Oh

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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What did the orphan get on his birthday? Cancer.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

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Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

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Your Mom.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This doesnt rhyme, Microwave.

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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What do you call a black guy driving a Mercedes through New York? A U.S. Citizen

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What did the young boy get His dad for fathers day? Nothing, his dad died from a very aggresive cancer

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Why is 6 afriad of 7? because 7 killed 8 with a pistol and is now on a killing spree.

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

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Why didn't Jeffrey become a butler? He did become a butler.

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

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Women.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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