Why does matt daly get confused for? A Penis

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What did Freddie Mercurys father say at Freddies funeral. "Thats the cleanest hole our Freddies ever been in".

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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Penis.

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A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

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What did the African-American get for Christmas? Nothing. I did mention he was African-American, right?

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What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

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there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

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Roses are black, violets are black, we are all black Shit i'm colour blind

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What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

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Why did the redneck ask his daughter to get on her knees? His shoe was untied.

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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