Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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Nicolas Cage's acting.

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What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

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Why did the chicken sneeze? Because someone put pepper on its nose.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

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Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

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Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

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What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo with a sheep? A: That would be impossible for it is impossible to breed a kangaroo and a sheep due to their difference in genetic material and number of chromosomes

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He threw it, because he had parkinson's!

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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Yo mama is so depressing. That is so sad.

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

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Aodhan peanut head Hearty

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Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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