A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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Fox News.

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

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A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

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Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

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Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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Knock, Knock Come in

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What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

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Why did the chicken sneeze? Because someone put pepper on its nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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