What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

Who has fair skin, blonde hair and is African? Stefan.

Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

No.

What is brown and sticky? A stick

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

Membean

A dinosaur walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender goes home and tells his wife what he saw. His wife leaves him.

If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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