A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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What a person such as you would say. Anyway, did you notice how I started by emulating your way of typing, spelling, spacing and so on?

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what do u call a long dik gay guy Gay Dickerson

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

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This is a joke

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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