A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +28

"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the blonde sent to prison? Well there could be a number of reasons, but I for one do not know this specific blonde so I can not help you.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

thumb_up thumb_down +26

"I see," said the blind man to the deaf man.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops