what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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What do you call a black kid with dead parents? Depressed

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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What do you call two black men in bed? Twix

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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So a seal walks into a club..

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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