Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

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Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

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A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

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What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

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Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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girls basketball

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Nicolas Cage

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No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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An Irishman and an Englishman are having a heated conversation about Rugby in a pub. Another Irish comes to the pub.. He is promptly given a bar stool and menu so that he can order.

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

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What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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Women.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

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why was the boy sad? because he was raped by a clown.

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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A Priest, A Pedofile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He Orders A Drink

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Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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