How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why did Alice fail Maths? Because everybody else was Asian.

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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i like turtals and kids

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What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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crap!!

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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