How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

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What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Random question: Whats black and white, green, and black and white? Well thought out correct answer: 2 zebras fighting over a pickle

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so dont touch it.

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How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

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Your Momma is so fat that she will most like lose a leg to diabetes which is totally preventable if she eats a well balanced diet. I hope she loses weight. Say hi to her from me please.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Gorden Brown.

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Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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Knock, Knock ..... ..... No one is home, they've been evicted.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

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BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

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When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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