What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see an orphanage on fire. "Oh my god!" says the rabbi. "We have to save the children!" "Screw the children!" says the priest. "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Oh no! My life is ruined!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock whose there? my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Andy Carrol

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops