Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

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Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

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You know what big feet mean? Big socks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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What did your last slave die of? Terminal Cancer

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

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Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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