ass in my face ? no

What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

want to hear a bird joke? no well, this is hawkward

A man goes to see his doctor and says "Doctor, I have a pain in my leg." The doctor replies "That's the least of your worries, I ran your blood test and you have AIDS."

Yeah right loser!

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

Why did the chicken cross the road? "THE chicken" indicates a definite article, you really would have to specify which chicken you're talking about so i can identify whether i was there at the given moment that the chicken tried to cross the road and to ask it his reason for attempting it.

The Pope

Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit.

What's worse than having AIDS. Being Black.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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