So a blonde woman gets into her car. She then drives to the grocery store because she is hungry and wants to buy food to make her dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Which is correct grammar: 'I hasn't a penis got' or 'I doesn't a penis has'? Answer: They're both wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what time is it? 3:16

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

thumb_up thumb_down +1

hi will

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

my captcha says : forkin chickens

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chiken cross the road? Well its wing were clipped so it couldnt fly across the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops