Why did osama bin laden cross the road? To commit suicide

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Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

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a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Why did the chicken kross the road? It didn't because it was a highway and it got hit by a bus.

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Jews

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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what does a man with no leg say to a woman with one eye? hello. by Mad James

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A little boy and a pedafile are walking through the forest at night. The little boy says "I'm scared." The pedafile says "You're scared? I have to walk home alone."

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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A son went to ask his father about his thoughts on abortion. "Dad, what do you think about abortion?" "Ask your sister." "I don't have a.."

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops