Why did the child get an 100% on a test?? Because they got all the questions correct.

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What's more annoying than a mosquito? the Sandy Hook Massacre

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the hospital? A: The victim of a violent mob attack

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Maturity is a virtue.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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whats funnier than hugos penis? Nothing!!!!

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jimmy Tyler, your son Hi son *continues to open door

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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