Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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what happened to the man with no arms or legs when he was pushed down a hill? nobody knows he is still going ........................................................................

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

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What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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