Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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Yes!

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Knock Knock! Come in!

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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I can't see my forehead

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Woman Rights

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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Twenty-Four

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Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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