What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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Knock Knock! Come in!

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Yes!

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I can't see my forehead

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Woman Rights

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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Twenty-Four

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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