What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

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Fox News.

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

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Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

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A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

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Nicolas Cage's acting.

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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