What did the African-American get for Christmas? Nothing. I did mention he was African-American, right?

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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knock! knock! whos there? doctor doctor who? no Doctor Brown, you have cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

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Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

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Once upon a cross

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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