Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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Hello

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How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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