How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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whats 2+2? math.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, so to make his activities in the bar into a joke would be disrespectful and inconsiderate.

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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What has sand and an ocean? A picture of a beach.

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I can't see my forehead

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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What is large white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A refridgerator

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what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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Woman Rights

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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