Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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What is the worst part of a 4 blacks hanging from a tree? They were only children

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

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What do you call a fat man in a tiny pipe? Stuck.

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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s e m e n

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What time is it? Refrigerator

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

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A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

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A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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Why did he have to die so young? It just isn't fair... In all considerations, the bullet didn't ask to become embedded in his skull either.

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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You`re honor, he fell off the staircase, I demand that staircase ends up in jail! Case closed.

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What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw food on the other side the the farmer was going to chop his head off.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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