your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

what did the terorist do when he went out side blew up

On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

justin bieber

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

Two english guys meet at work

No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...